


It's not always black or white

by C324B21



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-10 20:58:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8939074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/C324B21/pseuds/C324B21





	1. Chapter 1

Wrong. That was exactly what everything felt  
at the moment. So wrong. Every breath hurt as hell and made her lungs burn. It got harder with every single breath – more than  
it used to before. And  
the pain building up in her heart grew stronger. Just wrong.

‚Cosima please!‘ ‚What!? What do you want? There’s nothing to say.‘ she tried to grab her hand. ‚Please! You get this terribly wrong!‘ ‚Oh come on! How can I get a naked man in MY bed wrong, Shay?!‘ she tried to avoid her stare. ‚Yeah, that’s what I thought…‘ Cosima shook her hand away and grabbed the bag she was packing as fast as she could. Just necessary stuff for now. ‚Cosima…‘ ‚Just leave it.‘ with those words Cosima left her flat and took the first train she could catch. She knew that Shay wouldn’t follow her. Yes, they had their fights and it went full of temperament too – not at least because of Cosimas being – but Shay always knew when she had to let go before things would escalate. Before she even knew where she wanted to go she found herself at Bobbys bar. The bar that was a bar, a café, just a place to stay if you needed one. Cosima sat herself down at one oft he used couches and ordered a glas of wine. ‚You sure honey?‘ ‚Bobby could you just bring me the fucking wine. Please.‘ Bobby raised her hands and went for the order. After a few sips Cosima felt herself calm down a little. The bottle Bobby placed infront of her went nearly empty and she gave the blonde barkeeper a sign to place her another one when she suddenly looked at some long, skinny legs infront of her. She was looking slowly up on them and found her own brown eyes locked into green ones. „Excuse me – is this free?‘ Cosima made an inviting gesture and the blonde woman with that cute french accent dropped herself besides her. ‚Thank you.‘ Cosima just nodded and let her view go all over the other woman again. She had curly blonde hair which just looked – magical. Cosima couldn’t help herself but giggle at her own thoughts. The other woman looked up and gave her an asking view. ‚What’s so funny?‘ Cosima cleaned her throat and apologised. ‚Nothing. Just – nothing.‘ ‚Well, maybe it’s the wine? Because it’s just 10 a.m. and you seem to have more then just one of these?‘ she pointed at the new bottle. Cosima opened her mouth to respond to her. ‚Well – I gues having a bad day is a good excuse for it.‘ ‚I’m sorry I’m not in a position to judge but I think it’s not healthy to drink that much at such a time – and to drink alone, too.‘ the taller woman smiled a cheeky smile and Cosima melted instantly on the inside. ‚Well than feel free to join me.‘ she offered her her own glas and the blonde grabbed it and emptied it with one sip. ‚Wow. You’re welcome.‘ ‚Thank you, again.‘ after she refiled the glas she noticed that the dreadlocked woman besides her was looking all over her – again. ‚So – you want to drink together or just watch me empty your wine?‘ Cosima smiled again and gave Bobby a sign to bring her a second glas. ‚But before I share a glas of shitty wine with a woman, I usually get to know at least her name…so?‘ ‚Oh where are my manners. I’m Delphine.‘ ‚Hello Delphine. I’m Cosima.‘ she grabbed the frenches hand. ‚Enchantée Cosima.‘ ‚Enchantée, Delphine.‘ Cosima couldn’t help herself and just stared at the amazing green eyes that looked at her. ‚And yes, the wine is shitty.‘ both of them laughed. ‚So maybe you can show me a good one - one time. Since you sound pretty french, and it says that you guys know good stuff.‘ Delphine laughed out loud. ‚Yes, of course I will show you a good one. Whenever you feel free to do it.‘ Cosima giggled. _‚Oh my gosh - keep you shit together, Cos! You’re_ _behaving like a school girl!‘_ ‚So, why wait?‘ she asked the blonde and earned a great smile. Before Deplhine could respond Cosimas phone started ringing. ‚Oh I’m sorry…‘ without looking she answered the call. ‚Yep?‘ ‚Cosima, thanks to god you answered..‘ Cosima sighed. She needs to check before answering calls! ‚Damn it, what do you want? There’s nothing else to say.‘ ‚Please! Cosima please don’t hang up! Just let us talk!‘ ‚About what, Shay? About his dick sice? I’m sorry I’m not interessted in stuff like that. I’m just not interessted in dicks at all. Thanks!‘ ‚Stop it! You know that this isn’t-‘ ‚Oh shut up! You know as good as I know that there is just NOTHING left to say! Just keep it up with Mr. Nacked and leave. me. alone.‘ ‚Cosima don’t let it end like this!‘ ‚Me!? Are you seroius? I’m not going to end things like something. YOU did Shay!‘ Delphine couldn’t help but listen to the conversation. Cosima tried to keep it as quiet as possible but she just got more and more angry about the whole situation. She knew that it was going to be nasty and decided just to hang up. ‚Damn it.‘ she dropped her phone and covered her face in her hands. ‚Everything alright? I didn’t mean to listen but – well.‘ ‚No no, it’s okay. Can we just not talk about it?‘ Delphine looked at her. ‚Well sometimes talking helps.‘ ‚And sometimes does drinking, too.‘ Cosima took her glas and emptied it.


	2. Ch. 2

Delphine looked at her. ‚Well sometimes talking helps.‘ ‚And sometimes does drinking, too.‘ Cosima took her glas and emptied it.  


Delphine couldn’t help herself. Whatever was going on between this girl and the one she was talking to – she felt like she needed to protect that tiny woman in front of her. With a slow movement she touched the hand which was not holding on to the empty glass of wine and started to stroke it with her thumb.

When she felt the touch of the other one, Cosima got goose bumps all over her body.                     “Hey, you can talk to me. You know?” Cosima just nodded but wasn’t able to answer. She enjoyed the presence of this woman. She enjoyed the touch of her. She enjoyed the feeling of her finger on her skin. Suddenly she recognised her own heartbeat running faster.                                                 Cosima cleaned her throat and run through her own hair with her free hand while giving Delphine a shy smile. “So, where exactly are you from?” Delphine smiled and closed her eyes for a second. “I am from France – as you recognised before.” “Well, I guess it was your way of drinking.” Both of them laughed. “Wow, yeah. I guess I need to hide it more. I mean it’s not that I’m talking very French, so.” “No, no not at all!” Cosima shook her head and gave Delphine a certain look – what she couldn’t keep on very long. Both of them – again – started to burst in laughter. “And what brought you here? I don’t want to be offended but you don’t look like the normal costumers of this place.” Delphine giggled. “I don’t? Well, actually I was just looking for a place to sit. To – to take a rest.” “Rest from what?” Delphine just smiled a quick smile, went after the bottle of wine, filled her glass and toasted towards Cosima. “Sometimes all you need is to drink a little, right?” with that she nearly emptied it. “Oh I get it – since talking helps sometimes, right?” she smiled at her. 

“Oh my gosh – I think I need to pee.” Cosima giggled and by that she showed a breath taking teeth-smile. Delphine laughed. “What do you mean by ‘you think’?” “Well, I indeed need to pee but I’m not sure that I’ll make it there without embarrassing myself – like a lot.” Delphine widened her eyes. “You’re drunk already?” “Pff –what do you mean ‘already’?” she pointed at 3 empty wine bottles. “And no, I am not _that_ drunk.” “Ha! Hell yes, you are!” Delphine teased her. “Well yeah – fuck you too!” Cosima outstretched her tongue at her. “And to proof it – here: Watch me walk to the toilet like the bad ass lady I am!” Cosima stood up and made a few steps before she struggled. Delphine clapped her hands and giggled like a child while Cosima turned around and showed her her middle-finger. The respond she earned was a blowing kiss towards her, while she was walking backwards – really slow because everything was turning and the floor seemed to be moving. She couldn’t stop giggling while she was entering the toilets. 

Delphine leaned back at the couch and took a deep breath. When exactly was the last time she had this much fun? As she was thinking about that she recognised a small woman arguing with the blond bartender named Bobby. After a quick change of words she headed over to the toilets with fast steps.

Cosima was washing her hands and throwing water towards her face – after pulling of her glasses when someone touched her waist. “Oh, wow. I didn’t thought you were the stalking type.” She playfully said while turning around slowly. But while she did this she suddenly stopped her movement when she noticed that it was someone of her own height who was touching her. She searched for her glasses and put them on again – staring into Shays confused eyes. “What the hell are you doing here?” she hardly pushed her hands away. “Well so I guess you did expect someone else to touch you then. Really? This fast?” “Oh don’t you dare trying to blame me for something that didn’t even happened!” “So I am right? You really did expect someone to touch you in here! Great Cosima! Just pick some random bitch to take revenge!” “Could you please watch your mouth!? What the heek is wrong with you? And what did you put in charge to judge me? YOU are the one who screwed a guy in the bed WE used to share! God dammit Shay just leave it.” She moved herself around Shay and tried to get out of the door when she was hold back. “Please Cosima we need to talk! You can’t just leave and pretend that that’s it!” “And who are you to tell me that? Do you really think I want to hear any of this stupid excused which are bullshit? ‘Oh it wasn’t what it seemed to be! I was so drunk and didn’t ha d control of myself!’ Boho you poor baby!” tears started to fill Shays eyes. “Don’t be like this Cosi, please!” Cosima pointed her finger against Shays chest. “Do not ever call me like this again! You lost every right to do this.” “I am so sorry! I made a huge mistake! Please you have to believe me!” there was so much anger, hurt and depression about the whole situation boiling up in Cosimas chest. She started shaking. “Cosima, please.” “Just shut your damn liar mouth and leave! I just can’t believe that you did this to me! You know exactly what I went through and what I gave up for you! And that’s the thank you? Well yeah Shay you know what? Fuck you too! Just get the hell out of my life!” “Cosima? Is everything alright? Or did you just pass out as you’re not that drunk at all you lil’ brat?” Shay and Cosima jerked when Delphine entered the room. As soon as she got in there she freeze her movement. “Oh.” Cosima turned towards her, trying to give her a smile. “Yeah, everything’s alright. I’ll be right back…” “Cosima – you’re crying.” Delphine grabbed her cheek and whipped away some tears. Cosima didn’t even recognised that she was crying. “And that’s your business because of what?” Shay tried to move between the two women. “Well. It is my business since I am not an ice cold turkey.” Shay laughed a fake laugh. “Yeah. Could you just mind your own business and leave us, Frenchie?” Delphines eyes widened. “What did you tiny little ant just called me?” “Oh wow – Delphine. It’s totally okay. I’ll handle this and will be right back, ok?” Cosima grabbed her by her waist and tried to push her at least a little away from Shay.


	3. Ch. 3

Shay  
watched the scene between both of them – and recognised the look Delphine gave  
the one who was supposed to touch her and not this French woman. “Yeah, just  
leave and keep your eyes in some more alcohol.” She just whispered these words  
but not without hearing. Delphine suddenly stopped her feet and Cosima nearly  
bashed into her upper body by still trying to push her out of the room – politely.  
“Excusé moi? What is your problem? You just  
stalk around a woman and make her cry! I guess YOU should be the one leaving –  
right now!”                                                                                          Cosima  
let out a sigh – right into Delphines chest – what did feel good.                                                                   The  
taller woman just noticed that Cosimas face was in a pretty private place – and  
couldn’t help herself than burst out in laughter. “Oh my god, Cosima are you  
ok?” Cosima stared into this green eyes – which filed with tears of too much  
laughing – and just smiled. “Yeah, I am – but you like to keep telling me that  
I am the one who is that drunk right now?” Delphine just shook her head –  
holding one hand to cover her mouth and the other to hold on to herself. “I am  
so sorry…” she respond during more laughter. “Cosima could you please tell me what  
the hell is going on? Who is she?” _Oh_  
shit. Cosima nearly forgot about Shay being there too. She turned away from  
Delphine – who was still shaking from laughing, and faced Shay, giving her an  
angry look. “Really? Do you really think you have any right to look at me like  
this?” “Yes! At least you are my –“ “Don’t you dare to say it! I am nothing to  
you anymore. We are done Shay. Thanks to you.” “Cosima please listen to me –  
just let me explain.” “No. I don’t want to hear anything from you. Just leave  
Shay. Please.” She kept her eyes closed and tried to take a deep breath. Shay  
grabbed her hands – holding them tight and put her head up higher with a single  
finger under her chin. “Please look at me.” Shay whispered. Cosima opened her  
eyes and looked into Shays – filed with tears. “Why? What do you – “ Shay  
suddenly grabbed her cheek and leaned herself in to a kiss. Cosima pulled back  
as soon as their lips met. “Because of us.” “Shay stop! There is no us any  
longer.”                                                                              Cosima  
shook her hands free, turned around and left the room. Delphine on her back. “Cosima…”  
she politly tried to grab her hand – and the smaller woman let it happen. “Could  
you just bring me somewhere, Delphine? Please?” the blonde just nodded, took  
the bags of the two of them and they headed out of the bar.

Cosima didn’t know how long they were walking and where exactly Delphine was going to bring her – but after a while she noticed that both of them were still holding hands – and it felt good. 

“It’s just a hotel room - but I guess it will be ok, for now?”                                                                                    Cosima just nodded and let herself fall down on a couch in the middle of the room. Delphine took off her own jacket and headed into a smaller room – coming out again with Kleenex in her hands. Cosima couldn’t help herself – she started laughing. “Is everything ok?” Delphine sat herself next to the brunette. “It’s just – I don’t know. This morning I stared at a naked man, lying in my bed – waiting for my girlfriend to come back out of the shower and now I am sitting in a hotel room with a woman I barely now, looking like crap.” “No! No no no, you don’t look like crap! You still look beautiful!” Delphine gave her a shy smile. “Yeah, of course I do – not. But it’s cute that this seems to be the only thing that you struggle with since I told you that I am a lesbian who was cheated on. With a guy. Wow, it still hurts.” She let her head fall down into her hands. “Well, maybe that’s because I still think that you are beautiful and no one deserves to be with you if they are going to hurt you like this.” Delphine laid her hand on Cosimas back. “Thanks, Delphine….” “Do you want to talk about it, now?” “To be honest? I’d like to drink one of those great French wines we were talking about earlier.” Delphine smiled. “Your wish is my command.” 

As they were sitting on the couch, drinking a really good wine, Cosima started to feel a little better. “So, Delphine, you wanna talk about you a little more? Since you now know about my messed up love life – is there something you want to share, too?” Delphine smiled, took a sip of her glass and looked up into Cosimas eyes. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about what happened back at the bar? I mean that was pretty intense…” “Yeah \- how about no? I’d prefer to talk about my blonde, curly saviour.” Both laughed. “Well, I guess I am not a good saviour since you’re just getting more and more drunk than being better.” Cosima made a face at her. “Nah, I am feeling fine! See!” she smiled at her, the teeth showing smile Delphine noticed a few hours ago. “Yes, but what about I don’t believe you?” “Well, I guess you just have to – or you have to try harder to make me.” Delphine couldn’t help herself – this cheeky girl was unbelievable. She started to bite her lower lip – without noticing it.                                                                                                                                                                                             Cosima recognised Delphines reaction to her words – which caused a faster heartbeat and an upcoming heat.


End file.
